Some former partners do a great job co-parenting together. Even though they’re no longer romantic partners, they focus on their children’s needs and provide loving, caring environments for their children to thrive.
But many parents find themselves experiencing the opposite with a former partner who thrives on drama and consistently causes chaos. Is it possible to co-parent with such a person?
The never-ending uphill battle
You likely noticed some of your ex’s challenging behavior when you were together. Unfortunately, your divorce doesn’t always remove that person and their behavior from your life, especially if you have children together. Co-parenting may seem to consist of constant disagreements, passive-aggressive comments and a downright refusal to cooperate. If your children are still young, you may have to deal with your ex for several years, so having some strategies in place can help reduce some of your stress.
Focusing on your child’s well-being is the most important thing. Their health, happiness and stability should be your top priority. When making a parenting decision you should ask yourself what is best for your child. Centering on them can help you keep your emotions under control. Sometimes we get focused on wanting to be right or not wanting to make changes just because the request came from our ex. But if you step back and look at things from a child-centered perspective, you can make more constructive choices.
You must also establish and maintain firm boundaries. A difficult former partner may try to test your patience with their demands or their intrusive behavior. You may request that you only communicate via text or a parenting app.
Communication is another problem area. Misunderstandings can suddenly arise and get out of control. You can’t change how they act but can change your response. Keep all of your communication neutral and professional and don’t allow your ex to engage you in unnecessary conflict.
It’s important to remember that your primary goal is to provide your child with a loving and supportive environment. It is challenging to co-parent with a difficult ex, but not impossible.
